Honest Joe’s used facts Today’s crrrazy special - one ear off!
GEOFF JAMIESON answers a question, the arbitrariness of which stretches credibility

‘WHAT IS the story with Van Gogh's ear? Why did he cut it off?’ - Andrew, 3rd year BSc

You’re obviously not an arts student. Firstly, let’s settle this cutting off the ear thing for good. The story goes that the famous artist cut off his ear one day in a fit of madness caused by one of a number of factors. He didn’t. Vince merely mutilated his ear, severing his lobe with a razor. The result may have been no more aesthetic, but at least his ear would have retained the functionality to which he was accustomed.

Next, let’s look at why Mr Van Gogh decided to implement his famous body-pruning escapade. There are several theories. I’ll mention three.

First, Van Gogh was so devastated when a prostitute he had befriended laughed at his ears that he sliced off the dangly bits. This theory is fueled by the fact that Vincent actually did deliver the severed tidbit to a startled lady of the night after doing the deed.

Second, Van Gogh and his friend Gauguin were previously forced indoors by the atrocious December weather at Arles, where Van Gogh had hoped to start an artists’ colony, and had to spend long hours with each other. Since both were temperamental artists, their spirits began to sag and they turned on each other. All this unpleasantness resulted in violence, Vincent unsuccessfully attacking Paul Gauguin with the very razor he later used to mutilate himself in penance for this unspeakable act.

Finally, in 1979 a Japanese medical doctor specialising in diseases of the ear wrote a paper linking Van Gogh to Miniere’s disease, which is a condition involving too much fluid in the sectional of the ear that aids balance. Researchers into Miniere’s disease have noted that sufferers have reported an urge to cut off or poke holes in their ears. In addition, patients with chronic, recurring vertigo and dizziness can develop severe secondary psychological problems, including bizarre behaviour.

Any way you look at it, the man was as screwy as a horny hamster. Was he driven insane by the cackling of a coarse coquette? I find this a bit suspect, even given his delicate mental state. Of course, when he had earlier set his eyes on his cousin, Kee, and her father did not allow him to see her, it is reputed that he thrust his hand into a kerosene flame and said, ‘Let me see her for as long as I can keep my hand in the flame!’ Twisted, yet romantic. Still, it is unlikely that the prostitute with whom he had only a casual acquaintance provoked him to such drastic measures.

On the other hand, the Miniere’s disease theory is much more plausible. Since the prolific artist wrote more than 700 letters that are still preserved, doctors have more than enough symptomatic data to make a probable diagnosis.

In addition to the original 1979 paper, the Journal of the American Medical Association published a study by Arenberg; Countryman and Bernstein in 1990 which adds weight to this theory. So was it the disease that drove him to the mutilation?

More likely it was a catalyst to Vincent’s growing dementia, the documented argument and ensuing spat, which in turn led to the legendary lancing. The down side is, Miniere’s disease is still not curable. Of course, with a little luck, they can probably sew your ear back on.